


tell you the truth.

by astrovcly



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Modern Era, Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), There is no magic, Trans Merlin (Merlin), they are just so sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrovcly/pseuds/astrovcly
Summary: Merlin and Arthur work out their relationship but Merlin needs to tell him the whole truth to make everything work.akaMerlin is trans and Arthur just very sweet.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 139





	tell you the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a little something for a friend on twitter and it means quite a lot to me and her.
> 
> so this is for you, zai. i hope you like it! <3
> 
> (i apologise in advance if the facts aren’t 100% correct. I am not trans but i tried my best ‘:))

; for zai <3

Growing up Merlin realised he wasn’t who most people wanted him to be.  
He liked to play with the boys, he liked to wear trousers and shirts and hoodies.

In the beginning he didn’t know what it was, he didn’t know why he was getting weird looks just by being the way he was.

His mother explained it to him: He was born as a girl. He never fit that role. Since he could think he was always a.. boy. 

As a teenager he struggled. A lot. Being trapped in that body was more difficult than he expected. His breast was growing and his voice didn’t get deeper. 

Hunith always accepted him and when he finally openly talked to her about being trans, she was more than supportive. She sponsored his breast surgery and let him take testosterone. Everything to make him comfortable.

Merlin did feel a lot better. He went to a normal, public school and no one knew him as anyone different than him being Merlin.  
He found great friends, for example Gwen, Lancelot and Gwaine. 

After a while of hanging with them and realising that they were openminded and Gwaine even had a relationship with a trans man some time ago, Merlin told them. He wanted people to know. 

At first he was scared: Would they treat him differently? Or see him in another way?  
But it turned out that they didn’t. Gwaine even had tears in his eyes and pulled his friend in a big hug. 

He couldn’t have been happier with the friends he had. 

When Arthur Pendragon switched to their school, though, Merlin’s life turned all over. 

Why?

Well, he caught feelings. 

Arthur was one of the most popular guys real fast and even Lancelot was something like friends with him. 

After some time he was part of their group. He was a ridiculous tease but fit well in. Which didn’t make it easier for Merlin to move on from his crush.

He was a massive prat nonetheless. Thought he was better than the rest and had all the girls falling for him. That probably wasn’t his fault but it still made Merlin jealous.

Merlin didn’t even know how in god’s name he fell for him but Arthur was bloody handsome. Shiny, blond hair and blue eyes that always carried warmth when he was looking at someone. The ridiculous, beautiful lips and he was fit. 

He really had fallen head over heels for Arthur. That couldn’t go well.

One day he met up with Gwaine in the coffee shop just down the street. Merlin really wanted to talk to him and they didn’t meet up alone in so long. After all Gwaine was his best friend.

“Hey mate!! How are you?”, Gwaine said, flashing him a smile and pulling him into a hug.

“Alright, just exhausted. I barely slept last night. What about you?” 

“Everything fine.”, Gwaine said and sipped some of his coffee he already ordered for him and Merlin. “And? What kept you awake then?”

Merlin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers.  
“Just thoughts. That’s also kind of why i wanted to meet up..”

Gwaine looked up curiously and gestured him to go on.

“So.. Uhm.. You know Arthur, right?”

“Arthur Pendragon?!”, he exclaimed while nearly choking on his coffee.

“Yes. Gwaine calm down, don’t look at me like that oh my god-“, Merlin laughed, “Nothing happened, well.. not really??”

His friend raised his eyebrow and shot him a confused look.

Once again Merlin sighed: “I think I- Well I don’t know.. but.. I think I caught feelings for-“

“ARTHUR??? Are you serious?”, Gwaine coughed and tried hard to hold back the grin that was forming on his face.

“Why are you grinning?”, Merlin just asked dumbfounded.

“You know he’s also here or are you blind?”, the brunette man giggled.

“He is WHAT now?”

“Turn around.”, Gwaine hissed, “And Merls before you panic, I think he doesn’t think you’re so bad either. Lance told me.”

Oh gods. Life really had it’s ways of making everything so much harder for Merlin.

“Hey Gwaine.”, the too familiar voice said behind Merlin, “And hi there, Merlin.”

The younger man turned around slowly, hoping that his blush wasn’t too visible and just gave a tiny nod.

He hated himself for it. After all he and Arthur had interacted a lot and were actually spending most of the time together because they had many friends in common.

“Gwaine, I’ll borrow your friend here for a second okay?”, Arthur smirked and when Merlin looked over Gwaine just nodded and chuckled quietly.

“Okay, come on then. We need to talk, Merlin.”

This was hell. Merlin was stuck in hell. Gods.

Once they got outside, Arthur pulled him by the arm to a bench and gestured him to sit next to him.

“Okay so.. I heard your conversation with Gwaine. I mean he wasn’t really quiet was he?”, Arthur started and giggled.

“Well anyways.. I heard what you said and I- ehrm.. I feel the same? I guess?”, Arthur bursted out, “Honestly I am bad with the whole emotions stuff but I wanted you to know now that.. now that I know you feel the same it just seemed fair.”

Merlin huffed out a breath and looked disbelieving at Arthur, the confident and gorgeous Arthur that he barely knew for a year now. 

Arthur stared back, nervous smile resting on his face. 

“Oh you’re such a prat!”, Merlin laughed, “I don’t know what to say but.. What you heard was the truth.”

“Hmm.. good.”

The next thing Merlin knew was Arthur face to face and then soft lips on his. He froze, shocked by the unexpected kiss but a moment later his hands found themselves in soft blond locks.

Arthur had a hand pressed against Merlin’s chest, right where his heart was beating. The other played with the hair in the back of his neck.

The young man sighed satisfied and felt Arthur smiling into the kiss.

After some time he pulled back, after all: They needed to breathe.  
But both of them had ridiculous smiles on their faces and Arthur intertwined his hand with Merlin’s.

This was the start of their relationship. A beautiful journey, with a lot ups and downs but Merlin never felt happier and safer with anyone in his life.

It came to the point where Arthur wanted to take the next step and Merlin did want to. He really did but he always stepped back. Too scared of what Arthur, the one he really loved so dearly would say.

“Okay, Merlin.. Talk to me. What’s wrong? I understood for the longest time but.. are you uncomfortable with me or-“

“NO.. Arthur, Gods no.”, Merlin assured him. 

“Then what is it? Please, no secrets.”

He sighed. It was time, Merlin knew that. But what if he lost Arthur? What if Arthur couldn’t accept the way he was? 

“I- I’m trans.”, Merlin hoped that was enough because he didn’t know what to say.

The blond man looked at him, mouth slightly open and something shifted in his expression. Merlin couldn’t tell what it was.

“And?? That means you were born in the wrong body, wrong.. gender, right?”

“I guess so, yeah. I mean I always considered myself a boy since I can talk.. even before that.”

“That’s why you stepped back?”

“Yes? I was scared, Arthur. I was scared that you would leave me because you would be disgusted and.. and I can’t lose you. I lost so many people. Honestly I don’t even wanna recall some of the things people said to me, people I considered my friends, that I trusted.. And you just mean too much to me.”

Merlin didn’t even realise he started crying but he just let the tears stream down his face. 

“Hey.. Hey, love. Come look at me.”, Arthur lifted his face with his hand, making Merlin look right into his eyes.  
“You will not lose me. Not now, not ever. I can’t imagine how hard life must’ve been for you but I’m here, Merlin. I won’t leave you. I love you, I love you no matter what.”

Arthur’s gaze wandered all over his face and continued talking: “You always understood and supported me the past months. I never felt safer with anyone I’ve been with and you make me happy. You’re.. gods Merlin, you’re beautiful. Have you ever appreciated yourself? Have you ever truly realised how beautiful your eyes are? Or how ridiculously adorable your ears are? Or your lips? Honestly Merlin you’re driving me insane.”

Merlin was speechless, the tears still swelling up in his eyes. His vision was blurry but the fact that he could feel Arthur taking his hand and squeezing it tightly was enough. 

The next moment gentle fingers wiped away the tears on his cheeks and soft kisses traced his cheekbones. 

Merlin pressed his lips on Arthur’s forehead and then rested his own forehead against the older man’s.

“Thank you.”, was everything he whispered before Arthur closed the gap between them and kissed him softly and full of affection. 

And in that moment Merlin knew that everything he went through was worth it, if he could now be with Arthur, who was still here with him. 

-the end.-

**Author's Note:**

> thank you if you read this til here!  
> comments and kudos’ are appreciated <3


End file.
